


Falling

by Anna_Ethelin



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Gen, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-12 08:26:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13543512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anna_Ethelin/pseuds/Anna_Ethelin
Summary: Just a panic attack, cause I've got a lot on my mind.





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> Of course, everyone experiences panic attacks differently and this is only my experiences with them

Falling. Falling down into the deepest pit of despair. Running, running from everything but never fast enough. Everything collapsing around him. Falling.

* * *

 

Slipping into the darkness of a spiral. Falling, helpless, through old memories. Every single moment of his life flashing past. How could he escape? Run. Run. Run away from every problem. But no. He was trapped in his own mind and he could do nothing. Trapped forever in an endless abyss.

Each memory is kept. You can't always see them, but they're there. During a panic attack, you fall past every moment that ever went poorly. Every time you embarrassed yourself, every time you hurt someone, every time you hurt yourself...

But all he could do was lie, curled into a ball, and sob on the untidy floor. 

* * *

 

 

 

> "Do you realise what you've done?" Roman was yelling now. "You've hurt Thomas. You're meant to protect him, you stupid man!

Virgil could only sit there, trying to breathe through the pain of crying. 

 

 

> "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" Virgil sobbed through gulped in breaths. "I-I-I couldn't stop myself. I-I'm s-s-sorry! He got hurt it's m-my fault!"
> 
> "I can't deal with you. I'm going to help Thomas with the other two. Don't come; you've done enough." And with that, Roman sank down to help Logan and Patton with Thomas.

For hours Virgil sat there crying and clawing at his arm. Burning hot tears rolled down his face, falling onto the carpet.  _I hurt Thomas. I hurt him._ Virgil thought as the spiral tightened.  _I will not let this happen again, I will take the pain. I will not hurt Thomas, I will not hurt Thomas._

* * *

 A knock on the door.

 

> "Virgil?" Logan's voice floated through the door, "Virgil, Patton wanted me to tell you he made you dinner...Can I come in?"
> 
> No reply.
> 
> "Virgil," Logan was starting to get impatient, "Look, Virgil, just say  _something_."
> 
> Still no reply
> 
> "Virgil I'm gonna come in now..." Logan said reprehensively.

Logan slowly pushed the door open, only to see a bundle of purple and black clothes lying on the floor. 

> "Oh my goodness, Virgil!" Logan yelled, running over to his fellow side. "Virgil? Virgil can you hear me? Virgil, I need you to breath with me. In for 8, hold for 4, out for 7...You can do it Virgil."

After 10 minutes, Virgil's breathing had returned to normal. Logan was sitting on the floor next to the anxious side, but not touching him as he knew the side disliked physical contact. 

> "Thank you..." Virgil muttered.
> 
> "Really it's nothing, Virgil." Logan replied, glancing up at the ceiling, "I know that you get anxious and it's important you get help, even if it's just from us. If you need time alone that's fine but whenever you need help from me, Roman, or Patton we're here for you. You only need to ask."
> 
> "Thanks Logan." Virgil smirked.
> 
> "Not a problem," Logan said, looking to Virgil, "Hug?"

Virgil nodded and the two hugged. It felt good to have some comfort. After another 5 minutes of just sitting there on the carpet, the two stood up and went to dinner. Tomorrow would be a better day.


End file.
